My wife and I have started watching American Horror Story.  It is very frightening.  Though I do find it interesting that you can show somebody blowing their head off or chopping off another person’s legs, but frontal nudity is a No-No.  Ah, America.  Prudish and violent.  Like a nun moonlighting as a dominatrix.

On a related note, Halloween is right around the corner.  Lurking, I suppose.  I have never been a great lover of Halloween.  It always seemed weird how people were so eager to take on another persona.  Certainly, there are some deep-seated psychological movers at play.  Kind of like the Pope wearing those big hats and red shoes.  Or Madonna and those giant, pointy breasts.  Pow. Pow.  Poke both your eyes out.

Anyway, Jessica Lange is a major character in the first two seasons of American Horror Story (we are only half way through the second season so I can’t spoil any more for you).  She is a fine actress.  And hails from Cloquet, Minnesota.  Once, I hit a kid from Cloquet in the head with a basketball.  It was at basketball camp in Duluth.  He had it coming.  It could have been worse.  Watch American Horror Story.  The kid could have been swaying from the Bong Bridge from a rope fashioned from his own entrails.

That I pared from his body using a pen knife stolen from the rectory of a nearby church.  Hey, American Horror Story guys, I am great at writing this stuff.  Just pointing this out.

Jessica Lange was in King Kong.  The 1976 version.  I think Jeff Bridges was in that movie as well.  After that, Jessica made a lot of gritty movies with Sam Shepard.  Frankly, I could do without Sam Shepard.  But I’m not Jessica Lange.  She may know something I don’t.  Like the name of that kid from Cloquet who insulted me when I was 16.  We have unfinished business.  Chop him up and feed him to the pigs.  Or turn his body into candles and light up this year’s jack o lantern.  A jack o lantern resembling Sam Shepard being tortured.  That would be fair as he has tortured me with his acting for quite some time now.

I wonder if Madonna still has those pointy breasts.  She could use them as a witch’s hat if she wanted to.  Multi-purpose anatomical grotesqueries.  I don’t know if grotesqueries is a word, but spell check didn’t seem to mind.  Madonna may have loaned the pointy breasts to Marilyn Manson- though his fake breasts were less pronounced.  I guess he could have sawed them off.

With a Stihl chainsaw.  All of the chainsaws in American Horror Story are Stihls. Though they are not identified as such.  Perhaps Stihl thinks that would be bad advertising.  However, I would point out that chain saw massacre-ists spend money the same as everybody else.  And Stihl is a German company.  Typically, I don’t imagine the Germans as being squeamish about that sort of thing.  But maybe I am just generalizing here.