Though I have been trying to avoid any political commentary, these people won’t go away.  They are like a venereal disorder that keeps on flaring up on my iPhone.  Trumparrhea.  Which is not to be confused with Kardashianyphilis.  Anyway, I see that Ben Carson thinks the world is 6000 years old.  I guess he is a 7th Day Adventist.  I think they are some of the people who come knocking on your door with a pamphlet.  Did you ever notice these people always have huge eyes?  They look like they are going to pop right out of their heads.  Maybe they make them wear corsets or chastity belts or something.

Ben also thinks that the pyramids were not built as tombs.  Rather, Ben opines that the pyramids were built to house grain.  He thinks this because the pyramids were “hermetically sealed” and the only reason anyone would do that would be to make sure that their grain didn’t rot.  Not to be a jerk, but there are a few holes in Ben’s theories.  These holes are known as facts.  To be fair, no one likes facts unless they are in your favor.  And why worry about it when you can just make up something better?

For instance, the other day I was traveling in my time machine…just kidding.  Why would anyone want a time machine when it can only go backwards 5,999 years?  Anyway, I guess a mother in Blackpool, Lancashire, England was taking a selfie after she dyed her hair blond.  When she looked at the photo, however, she saw that a ghost had photobombed her.  No lie!  I guess she never believed in ghosts until she saw that.  In fairness, I have to admit that I would also believe in ghosts if one tried to get into my selfie.  Plus, it is very rude.

The woman says she will never take a selfie again.

Now that I find hard to believe.