I saw the new Star Wars movie the other day.  Eh.  I give it a B minus.  The acting was far superior to episodes 1-3 (that kid who played Anakin was the best they could do?), but the story was pretty pedestrian.  Plus, I like my villains to be a little more formidable.  Han Solo’s kid kind of looks like a young Marilyn Manson- sans makeup and pointy breasts, of course.  I think it’s hard to make angular people look mean.  Unless you are in a Western.

In other Star Wars news, I hear the actor who played Jar Jar Binks does not want to reprise his character for fear of ruining the next two movies.  Wise choice, Jar Jar.  You were even worse than little Ani.  They should have had your character attempt to assassinate Anakin.  I don’t know why.  I’m not that far yet.

Anyway, so Jar Jar tries to kill Anakin.  Of course, Jar Jar is a relatively harmless amphibian/Rastafarian so Anakin easily kills him by utilizing his emerging Jedi powers.  Then, he skins Jar Jar and makes boots.  Binks Boots, if you will.

Or Jar Jar just takes a stray shot from a Storm Trooper’s blaster.  And then the Storm Trooper skins him and makes boots.  Either way, so long as Jar Jar dies.

Speaking of skinning people, Ted Cruz kind of reminds me of the aliens from the show “V.”  If you have forgotten the story line, aliens arrive in large, looming motherships.  They appear to be benign, even friendly.  But, they have a sinister plan.  This is because they are really reptilian creatures disguised in human skin suits.  And they need us for food!  And sometimes companionship as one of the aliens breeds an Earthling female.  This most unnatural coupling results in a half man, half alien monstrosity- who subsequently saves Earth from his father’s reptilian compadres.  We win again!

Anyway, Ted Cruz certainly is wearing a human skin suit.  I think his wife is as well.  But I don’t want to start any unsubstantiated rumors.  Anyway, somebody should take a peek behind the moon just to make sure there isn’t an alien Armada massing there.

Ted Cruz could also be the actor who played Jar Jar Binks.

He probably is.