The whole time I was thinking I had seen Trump somewhere.  I couldn’t remember where it was, however.  Surely, it wasn’t a personal experience.  Trump would never come to Wisconsin and I would never be allowed in a Country Club.  That would be outside of protocol.  I thought and thought, but finally it came to me.  Spaulding Smails, Judge Smails’  (played expertly by Ted Knight) grandson in Caddyshack.  You know, the kid with the long hair and the stupid expression on his face.  The one who the caddies were betting would pick his nose.  Yes, that kid.  See the resemblance now?  Anyway, if Judge Smails was still alive I can just imagine the conversation.

Spaulding/Trump (looking bewildered and angry at the same time):  “Grandpa, why do I have to go golfing today?”  (Spaulding/Trump stamps his foot)

“Spaullll-dinngggg.  Spaulding!  All winners play golf.  You want to be a winner, don’t you?”

Spaulding/Trump.  “I am a winner.  I have billions of dollars and an Eastern European trophy wife.  I don’t want to play golf, though.  I have a campaign to run.”

“Spaullll-dinnggggg!  Quit whining and grab my clubs.”

Spaulding/Trump stares down at his hands in dismay.  “I can’t grab your clubs, Grandpa.  My hands are too small.”

Judge Smails shakes his head.  “What?”  (he examines his grandson’s hands with obvious disapproval)  “You have the hands of your mother’s side.  It’s a genetic defect.  Just put them in your pockets.  I’ll call over some of the help.”  (Judge Smails motions towards the lingering caddies)  “Boy, come grab my bags.  Chop, chop.  Winners wait for no man.”

Suddenly, from the side, a winded and flushed Marco Rubio enters the scene.  “I want to play golf, too.”

Judge Smails shakes his head.  “No, no.  You aren’t a winner.  And you’re not big enough.”

Marco stands on his tiptoes.  “Am too.”  (He points at Spaulding/Trump’s hands)  “My hands are bigger than his.”

Judge Smails shakes his head and pushes Marco aside while Spaulding/Trump smirks.

“Too bad, Little Marco,” Spaulding/Trump says.  (he looks around, frowning)  “Where’s your egghead pal, Cruz?”

Marco rolls his eyes.  “He can’t come out in the daylight, remember?”

Spaulding/Trump nods.  “Or he will be fired?”  he says and he and Marco dissolve into laughter.

Over at the bar, Jeb Bush looks on longingly.  He likes golf.

They started it.