Anecdotally speaking, it seems as if the number of bumper stickers is at an all time high.  Certainly, they are more annoying than they have ever been.  I remember a kinder, gentler time when bumper stickers were meant to amuse and titillate.

“Honk If You Are Horny.”  Hahaha.  Who can forget that gem?  “Grass, Gas, or Ass.  Nobody Rides for Free.”  Hahaha.  Wonderful.  And rhythmic.  “They Will Get My Gun When They Pry it From My Cold, Dead Hands.”  (If you watched the video of the demise of the Yeehawd member, you could see the poignancy within this bumper sticker).  Anyway, bumper stickers were a bit of fun- part graffiti, part dirty joke, All-American.  “Freedom Ain’t Free.”  Bitch.

But then somebody decided to make bumper stickers political.  “NoBama.”  “Obama Sucks.”  “A Vote for Obama is a Vote for Mephistopheles.”  “I Like Trump’s Hair.”  I mean, is this necessary.  Does having a Mitt Romney 2012 bumper sticker really make a political statement?  Or does it just say you are too lazy to peel the sticker away?  I don’t know.  I’m just brainstorming here.  Boooooommmm!  That is the sound of thunder in my brain.  Booooommmmmm!!!  “Barack Hussein Obama is a Damned Muslim Who Wants Us to Worship the Koran and Quit Eating Pork and Cover Up Our Womenfolk.”

One particularly obnoxious bumper sticker (though it also serves as a rear window obscurer) is the Confederate flag.  There are two things you can guarantee about these bumper stickers.  The first is that the vehicle they are attached to is a truck and it is beginning to rust.  The second is that the driver is a white male wearing a baseball cap.  Actually, there is a third thing.  Whoever slapped that sticker on that bumper can’t find Richmond on a map.  They also don’t know who in the hell won the Civil War.

So, I was cut off this morning by a truck with an NRA bumper sticker.  If I had a gun with me, I probably would have shot him.  “Stand My Ground.”  “When Guns Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Guns.”  “Save the Earth.  Kill a Hillbilly.”  I made that last one up because I am still angry.  Sometimes I struggle with my anger.  I probably have some deep-seated issues from childhood.  Or I am just not a morning person.  Read a few more blogs and you can be the judge.  On the other hand, it doesn’t really matter so long as I have repentance in my heart.

“Jesus Saves.”  Also, “Jesus Hates Homos.”  Unless they are reconditioned at one of those camps they have.

Anyway, despite everything I just wrote, I do have a great idea for a new bumper sticker.

“WhoaBama.  I Think Your Wife Likes Me.”

And then have a picture of a winking Obama.  Boooommmmmm!!!!  It’s a veritable brain hurricane I’m having here.

I did have a much more vulgar idea in mind.  It was super funny.  But there has to be a line somewhere.