You will be happy to know that a new “Miss Hitler” has been crowned.  It seems that a Neo-Nazi group in the UK runs a beauty pageant for aspiring fascists.  And you said fascists have no appreciation for aesthetics.  Interestingly, this Scottish gal has dark hair.  I would have assumed that one requirement for Miss Hitler would be to have blond hair (and blue eyes), but that is what happens when you make assumptions about Neo-Nazis.  They confound your prejudices.

The pageant was created in order to draw attention to the fact that there are Jew-hating women, too.  I had thought this was understood.  Especially given the liberal bias of the lame-stream media and their constant pushing of the feminist agenda.  Bastards.  What’s next?  Gay Neo-Nazis?  Well, probably not that.  Though you never know with Obama in charge.  He is probably a Neo-Nazi sympathizer.  I also heard he was born in Germany.  Stuttgart.  Why else do you think Germany has all of those Muslim immigrants?  Can’t wait until that guy is done and this country can get back on track again.

I wonder if Miss Hitler will note her accomplishment on a resume.  I mean, she did win.  This says something.  Of course, it might just say that there are a lot of ugly Neo-Nazi girls and she was just the pick of the litter of a bunch of runts.

Maybe she could just put that she is certified in “Cultural Differentiation Practices.”  That sounds pretty good.

Now that I think about it, there are a lot of groups who could use a beauty pageant.  Beauty pageants are as American as mom and apple pie (or some kind of pie).  Holding a  beauty pageant is a good way to show that your group, no matter how hateful or bizarre its platform, is full of people who are almost just like anyone else.

The KKK could have a Miss Wizard pageant.  In this pageant your evening wear must consist only of a white sheet.  That would be so hot.

Serial Killers could have a Miss Aileen Wuornos pageant.  Unlike other pageants, the goal of this pageant would be to be as ugly and as crazy looking as possible.  After all, ugly and crazy girls never get to be in a pageant.  And the winner could kill one of the judges.  Except we wouldn’t let the judges in on that little tidbit.  It would ruin the surprise.  (By “we,” I mean serial killers.  Not me, of course.)

Imagine a beauty pageant held by the NRA.  You talk about a phallic phestival of epic proportions.  It would be a Freudian rampage.  “Your Second Amendment Never Looked Like This.”  Donald Trump could be the host.  I can see him singing to the winner now.

And the winner is holding her AR-15 and a bouquet of shells while a montage of the Founding Fathers is broadcast on the screen behind her.  Throw Clint Eastwood into the montage as well.  And Charlton Heston (dressed as Ben Hur, preferably).

I am holding back the tears just thinking about it.  God bless America.  Pow Pow Pow.

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