The other day my stepson had a flag football game.  He is a third grader.  It was raining to beat hell.  It was also thundering.  “Hmmmmm,” opined MO, “methinks this not to be a good idea.”  Several other parents who were standing around also voiced their misgivings.  Of course, everyone’s child was still on the field.

It could have been worse.  Most of the onlookers were sitting in metal bleachers.  Luckily, this monument to the stupidity of human beings was halted when the head of Parks and Rec decided to cancel the games.  The upshot is that everyone made it home safe and sound and able to remain in denial about the fact that they had put their nine year olds in mortal jeopardy in an attempt to beat the Hu Hot Buckeyes.

Then again, life is all about denying reality.  I guarantee there will be climate change deniers standing on top of their flooded beachfront property screaming their protests to anyone in a hovering helicopter.  “This is just a natural change in the weather,” they will yell.  “It happens all the time.”

Or they will just say that god did it and figure there was nothing anyone could have done anyway.  Well, I suppose someone could have sacrificed a virgin.  Good luck finding one of those in these decadent days.

A person can deny whatever she wishes.  This is America.  In Norway that is apparently not the case.  Those Scandinavians are notoriously cynical.  Not long ago three hundred reindeer in Norway were killed by single lightning strike.  Pow.  Pow. Pow.  Zzzzzzppppthhhhhh!  Smolder.  Expire.  Ho ho ho ho noooooooooooooo!!!!

There are pictures on the internet.  The carnage is significant.  And the poor elves.  They look so very distraught.  I hope they can get themselves together.  The world needs its X boxes.

It makes me wonder if the reindeer were cooked from the inside out.  And what reindeer taste like.  I don’t see the sense in letting them go to waste.  Rudolph steak, coming right up, Santa.

“Good,” says Santa, pouring a bit of whiskey into his morning coffee, “I never liked that little smartass.  And how in the hell did he get that stupid nose, anyway.  You talk about a genetic anomaly.  Science never could explain it to me.”

Misses Clause pats Santa gently on the forearm.  “Eat, Santa.  Eat.  Who ever heard of a skinny Santa?”

Santa looks up and sneers.  “Shut up, bitch.  I’m still grieving over the reindeer.  You have any idea how much work it is to train reindeer?  No.  You don’t.  You’ve never had a damn job in your life.”  Santa takes a sip of his Irish coffee.  “And why don’t you get rid of those stupid glasses.  You look like a damned old woman.”  Santa starts munching on his Rudolph steak.  “I think this is underdone.  This look pink to you?  Should have had him struck by lightning twice.”

Apparently, while this sort of lightning disaster is rare, it is not without precedent.  In 1939 in the state of Utah 835 sheep were killed by one strike of lightning.  Apparently, the wet ground served as a conduit for the deadly electricity, leading to their mass demise.

To this the climate change deniers say, “Baaaaa.”

Interestingly, the sheepherder was in his tent and managed to escape death.  The only explanation was that his tent had provided enough insulation to mitigate electrocution.

There was no explanation, however, for the sheep that was in his tent.  Actually, there were probably several sheep.  This was in Utah, after all.