I had a teammate when I played college basketball.  He was very fond of regaling the rest of us with tales of his sexual exploits.  That none of us cared apparently never crossed his mind.  Often, this is the way of the storyteller.  But willing audience or not, the story must be told.

I remember one particular story very clearly, even more so in light of recent events.

We were in a hotel room in Bemidji.  It was January and very, very cold.  I thought maybe we would die there.  Anyway, as he had a captive audience my amorous – and garrulous- teammate began his crude tale.  About halfway through his story, he rose from his chair and began mimicking a recent act of sexual congress.

Enthusiastically, he slapped the ass of an imaginary partner, exclaiming exuberantly, “Whose pussy is this ?  Whose pussy is this?”  Apparently, these were the sweet nothings he whispered into the ear of his willing paramour.  He asked the question again of his phantom gal pal.

“Whose pussy is this?  Whose pussy is this?”

It was a question none of us had an answer for.

Even though I was but a lad of 19, I thought his display a bit reprehensible.  Moreover, I found his enthusiasm a bit off-putting as there were no real women in the vicinity.  (Though, even if there were, he would have had no way to get to them being that it was about fifty below with the wind chill.)  Regardless, it was a lewd and disturbing display.

I do not know what happened to that teammate.  I also do not know what happened to his college girlfriend.  Certainly, they are no longer together.  It is also certain that this once young woman is now a wife and mother who has no recollection of any of the aforementioned events.  Motherhood, even more than marriage, often brings forth the amnesia.

However, wherever my former teammate has gone, I am sure he is smiling today.  Smiling because he has a kindred spirit in the political arena.  No longer is it reprehensible to talk about women’s pussies in public.  You can snatch at them as you please (no pun intended) and tell the tale with pride.  Grab them right in the pussy, just like a true American would.

You know, I wondered how things were going to be made great again.  Maybe you were wondering as well.  Wonder no more, my cynical friend.  Grab yourself a pussy and join the pussy grabbing revolution.  They are everywhere and they are all ready to be groped.  And, as Trump is a Republican and thus on the side of Jesus, you cannot possibly go to hell for your pussy grabbing.  It is Jesus approved.  Why I am sure Lot took a little salty grab before leaving his wife behind.  Who wouldn’t?

As for the question posed so long ago by my vulgar teammate, I finally have the answer.

“Whose pussy is this?”

It is Donald Trump’s pussy.  And he just wants to make it great again.