It’s raining.  Again.  Oh, no.  Anyway, we have had a lot of rain lately.  On a fundamental level, rain is a good thing.  Without water all biological activity would cease.  That would be bad.  The earth would not quit turning, however.  Cruel world and all that.

For those of you for whom religion is a thing, there is a biblical story concerning some serious rain.  Forty days and forty nights straight.  Flooded the whole damn planet- or so the story goes.  Of course, these are the same people who said that snakes and donkeys can talk, so take the flood story with a grain of salt.  Perhaps a grain chipped off from Lot’s wife.  That’s what she gets for not listening to her husband.  Take heed, women.  Obey your man.  Just like Tammy Wynette.  She was a famous Christian woman.

Tall tales aside, it could actually rain for several weeks on end.  I know that it hasn’t really ever happened in recorded history (at least in this locale).  But it theoretically could happen.  I saw Waterworld.  And we all know how much life imitates art.

For example, there are Jawas everywhere around here.  Those little bastards hate the rain.  You would think they would move to Arizona or some place like that.  We ought to build a wall.  It would only need to be about four feet high or so.  And C3PO could stand behind the wall taunting them.

“Your odds of getting over this wall are 13,282 to 1.”

Speaking of Waterworld, it is a far underrated movie.  It isn’t any more hokey that Dances with Wolves or Field of Dreams.   Plus, Dennis Hopper is in it.  I was in a college class once where my professor showed Blue Velvet.  It is a very disturbing movie for rural, Christian girls to watch, I will tell you that.  I will never forget their faces when Dennis Hopper goes full on sex pervert.  That is the problem with higher education these days.  Dennis Hopper.

A flooded world wouldn’t be that bad.  We could all float around eating ducks and growing plants on our rafts.  If you didn’t like someone, you could just put some floaties on their arms and give them a little push with the Pole of Justice.  Voted off the island, if you will.  Someone would probably pick them up.  If nothing else, they would be good to eat.  Post-apocalyptic worlds are rife with cannibalism.  (I know, everything always goes back to cannibalism.  Maybe I don’t have enough iron in my diet.  Who knows?  I’m not a doctor.)

I wonder if there would be any cats in a flooded world.  Most of them hate water, you know.  Perhaps there would be a mass cat suicide.  I’m not sure how cats would accomplish this, but where there is a will, there is a way.  Feline innovation is, like Waterworld, also underrated.

Did you know that Dennis Hopper is still alive?  I wouldn’t have figured that.  He doesn’t seem like somebody who would live a long time.  Then again, Keith Richards continues to defy the odds.  Maybe both of them took some sort of experimental preservation drug in the late 60’s.  Now, they are IMMORTAL.

Here’s a postapocalyptic world that will make you shudder.  Only Dennis Hopper and Keith Richards are left.  But there can by only one.  So, they are massing their cockroach armies in a final battle for supremacy.  The winner gets all the cockroach concubines he wants.

If you think Keith Richards buggering a cockroach is a disturbing image, watch Blue Velvet.  I’m telling you, Dennis Hopper is pretty convincing.  And not in a good way.

The guy from Dune is in the movie Blue Velvet as well.  Yes, the main character who passes the witch test and kills Sting in the end.  “I will kill him!” says Sting’s character.

But then he doesn’t.  Spoiler alert- one sentence too late.

On a sidenote, are those big worms in Dune some sort of Phallic symbol?  Like if a man can control his penis, then he can rule the universe?

At least he can use his voice to blow things up.  That would be useful.

Sting used to be an English teacher named Gordon.  He probably got fired for showing Dennis Hopper movies.