Undoubtedly, you have heard of Joe Rogan. He was the guy on Fear Factor who said “fear is not a factor for you.” If you don’t recall the show, the premise was that people had to do stupid shit that scares most people in order to win. I’m talking things like get into a tub with a bunch of snakes or hang from a helicopter or eat bison testicles. In other words, the kind of stupid shit that you see at any drunken party (except with waivers). Once a saw a guy eat 42 minnows at a frat party. I wasn’t a frat member, I was just crashing their party. No asinine handshakes for me. Anyway, that is a lot of minnows. Spoiler alert. He yakked them up in the yard about an hour later. Minnow’s Revenge. Minnow eating bastard. The guy is probably a CPA now with his first grandchild on the way. I’m betting he never tells that story now.

Anyway, back to Rogan. When Joe was a young person he went to college for a while. Then he dropped out. According to him, college was “pointless.” In my experience, when someone says that college is pointless it means one of two things. Number 1: They come from money and there will always be someone there to bail them out in life. Number 2: They are too stupid or lazy to pass college courses. Of course, there are plenty of smart people who haven’t gone to college. And you know what they do with their own children? They send them to college.

In lieu of getting an education Rogan became a comedian. Because being a comedian is one of those jobs you get when you can’t get through college. Apparently, he did pretty well. I can’t personally attest to that as I have never seen his comedy act. After all, Joe Rogan sucks goat balls. And if there is one thing that I don’t do it is that I don’t support goat ball suckers. Everyone has a line.

Eventually, Rogan parlayed his comedic genius into acting gigs (and Fear Factor host) and, eventually, into a highly successful podcast. If you are not familiar with this podcast, Rogan essentially bullshits and passes himself off as someone who knows something. However, if you were paying attention earlier you know that Rogan dropped out of college because it was “pointless.” Regardless, legions of men with their hats on backwards hang on Joe’s every word. Apparently, the adoration of all of these meatheads has given Joe the impression that he actually does know something (as opposed to just being a professional bullshitter).

To whit, Rogan is famous for questioning the validity of the Covid vaccine. Because Joe is a doctor. Ooops. No, he isn’t. Joe couldn’t finish college. Which, if you’ll recall, is the first step to medical school. Apparently, being a comedian and hosting a moron game show is another way to gain medical expertise. I should add that he has been aided in his attack on the medical establishment by that other stable genius, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. Because, as you know, the Kennedys are famous doctors. Well, JFK knew a lot about penicillin. So that’s something.

One thing you hear a lot these days is what is wrong with the United States. “You know what’s wrong with the United States?” the fat barfly asks you.

“People don’t mind their own damn business,” you say.

And you are partly right. Though the barfly didn’t even hear what you said. Because he wants to complain about the dangers of vaccines (as learned from Joe Rogan). Keep in mind this guy is seventy pounds overweight and shit-faced drunk. He obviously knows a lot about health and medicine. But I digress.

The US has a long history of anti-intellectualism and Rogan is just another spear carrier for the idiot brigade. The country is littered with people who can’t be bothered to read a book but who are experts on every subject. After all, it is a lot easier to mouth off about something you don’t know than to actually put the time and effort into becoming an expert. I mean, what do those nuclear physicists know? The more misinformation, the better.

Speaking of misinformation, Rogan claims he is 5’7 1/2. But really he is about 5’4. Maybe. Not that he can do anything about how tall he is. Well, I guess he wears lifts all the time. And if there is anything that serves as a metaphor for guys like Rogan, it is that. Plus, he sucks goat balls. Which was really the point here all along.