There are a lot of commercials on TV for erectile dysfunction.  I have a lot of smart things to say about that.  The only problem is that I am a little superstitious.  At least, I worry about irony.  It is everywhere, lurking and waiting for an opportunity to pounce on the unsuspecting bigmouth.  You know what would be some awesome irony?  If Donald Trump was assassinated by a redneck hillbilly who was carrying in a newly minted Gun-Approved Zone.  Hahahaha.  I love revenge fantasies.  Greatest revenge fantasy movie of All-Time?  The aptly named “Payback” with Mel Gibson and Marie Bello.

Marie Bello could probably help some of these men with their ED.  Except for the fact that she is a lesbian.  There’s irony again.  Looming bastard.

Speaking of uprisings (and hillbillies), a gang of armed vigilantes has taken over a bird sanctuary in Oregon.  It would be ironic if they contracted bird flu and died.

Anyway, I digress.  It seems these guys want to use public land as they see fit.  Some of the things they see fit to do are commit arson, graze cattle illegally, and poach deer- just for reference.  And this gang of self-styled Freemen is willing to shoot it out in order to protect their rights.  Ironically, these rights interfere with the rights of others.  But hillbillies don’t understand irony.  That is why they continue to vote Republican.

Another irony in this armed standoff is that the land in dispute was actually stolen from the Paiute Indians.  I’ll bet if you’re an Indian you probably have had enough of irony by now.  I know that I would have.  But I am getting a little sensitive in my old age.  I suspect it is all of those ED commercials.  Watch a football game once.  There is an ED commercial every time somebody gets a first down.  “First Down!  Now, speaking of down, there are a lot of men out there….”

You know, Catholics had it right all along.  As sex is only for procreation, it doesn’t affect any Catholic who is too old to have any children.  Anyway, if you don’t try, you can’t fail.

If you can’t accept failure, you can always lay siege to a wildlife sanctuary.  This is America.