Somebody did it again.  The toilet at work was stuffed full of toilet paper and paper towels.  Stuffed to the brim.  This is not only disgusting but most certainly unhygienic for the perpetrator.  Not to be a pedant, but E. Coli is nothing to mess with.  Ask the Third World.

Anyway, did you ever notice that many German words and phrases mimic bathroom sounds.  Guttentag!!!!  If that is not the sound of flatulence, I don’t know what is.

“Guttentag, Austria.  We are here to emancipate you.”  Blatz.  Schlitz.  Schwarzenegger.  You see where I am going with this.

I wonder about the psychology of someone who would intentionally stopper up a toilet.  Do they do this because they were ignored as a child?  Perhaps the only way for them to get attention was to back up the plumbing.  I can see their pathetic face as they gave the news to their disinterested father.

“Father, I fear that I have once again stoppered the loo.”

The father scowls and shakes his paper.  “What the hell do you want me to do about it?  Get the plunger from the closet and take care of it.”  The father shakes his head and returns to the Sports Section.  Then he looks back at his attention-starved child.  “And quit talking in that British accent.  If you’re going to learn a language, why don’t you learn German.”

“Ich wird dich im Schlaf toten,” whispers the disappointed moppet as he slinks toward his janitorial duties.  (Note: I am not translating that for you.  Do some work yourself.  Your laziness is what is wrong with America.)

Forty years later this same child is now a bearded, balding, obese man.  Yet, he continues to stopper the toilet, his development arrested by the disturbing circumstances of his youth.  Of course, I could care less about his problems.  Putting paper toweling in the john is not therapy.  It is just hugely annoying to those of us who must witness the tangible wreck of your inner being.  And, as mentioned earlier, the cleaning lady has to take care of your mess.  She has other things to do, you know.  The truth is that you are simply an Arschloch.

Arschloch.  Now there’s a word that just says constipation.  In this case, a little more constipation would be nice.

Yin and yang, my friend.

Powshraufnagel.