I read an article the other day that says robots will take all of our jobs.  Like soon.  The author of the article figured that truck drivers would be on the unemployment line in ten years or so.  Bad news for Lounge Lizards everywhere.  If Burt Reynolds has another Smokey and Bandit movie in him, now is the time to do it.  In 2029 the movie will be C3PO and Robocop.  This movie will assuredly have superior acting when compared to its predecessor.  Jackie Gleason should have stuck to the Hustler.

“You shoot a great game of pool, Fatman.”

“One of these days, Eddie.  To the moooooonnnn!!!”

I guess robots will be 100 times smarter than human beings in 30 years.  That’s an IQ of 10,000- for those of you short on math skills.  Which is a statement that, compared to futuristic robots, applies all of us.  This means that computer geeks will go onto the same bone pile as the truckers.  Hopefully, nothing weird happens there.  But you never know.  After all, without jobs all of us will have to improvise.

If it makes you feel any better, great minds are already working on the problem of what to do with billions of unemployed people.  The most optimistic of them see a world where the robots are state-owned and everyone lives a government dictated lifestyle.  In others words, the robots do all of the labor and the humans are fed, clothed, and housed and free to play XBox to their heart’s content.

Yes, this is the optimistic view of the future.

The MO’s view (which, given the prescience of the MO, will certainly come to pass) is a bit bleaker.  Eventually, six people own all of the robots in the world.  The rest of the people in the world live an existence plagued by the constant threat of starvation and disease.  (This does not apply to the Amish, who go on thy merry way.  At least until the rest of us break into their larder and steal all of their hard-earned food.)  Driven to desperation, the masses try to rise up against the Lords of the Robots.  But they are thwarted by the robot armies of these lords.  Robots beget robots beget robots.  After all, at 10,000 times the intelligence of human beings, no problem is insoluble.  They fix each other, create each other, do the bidding of their masters, and exterminate the vermin (us, in this scenario).

On the bright side, I will be around 80 – assuming I survive- when the robot problem begins to come to a head.  Thus, like Climate Change, it doesn’t really affect me.  Life is change, I always say.  Lest I appear callous, I will start to call my generation the “Really, Really Greatest Generation.”  That ought to pacify you youngsters.

If I get really bored, I suppose I will join the robot resistance.  Shooting at robots will probably be therapeutic.  It’s rare that one gets an opportunity to truly contribute to society during old age.

Therefore, I would like to say “thank you” to the robot legions- in advance.  After all, I won”t be able to thank them in person when they are shooting death rays at my house.

But that’s the price of progress.